The power in dealing with life is in choice not in reaction
Posted by: Maria Atalanti
Published on: 08/11/2020Back to Blog
Certainly, in our lives there have been many moments when we were stabbed with harsh words and actions, even with intolerable injustices. Often these moments accompany us for many years, sometimes until death. The worst part is that they define our lives and our behaviour towards others.
I grew old to understand the negative power these instances had in my behaviour. But when I realized it, I started analysing and trying to get over them. It is not easy. My behaviour was entrenched, and I seemed to be struggling with windmills, like Don Quixote. Now I know where the mistake is, and now I must try to function with knowledge and logic.
I share these thoughts with you because I think of children. These supple minds who, if they get the right messages now, will be able, in their lives tomorrow, to operate with strength and overcome difficulties and obstacles.
Let us take a simple case where we were misjudged and with harsh words insulted. Our hearts are torn apart by anger and either we attack back immediately or start repeating their words in our minds and, with infinite arguments, we reject their position.
But let us ask ourselves this:
- How many times have these “others” said the words that offended us? Just once.
- How many times have we repeated their words in our minds? Dozens of times.
- So, who did the most damage, the “others” or us? Of course, we did!
It is amazing when you see how much pain we accumulate inside by repeating someone else’s harsh words. And what is the solution?
We ask ourselves the following questions and answer honestly:
- Did they even have the slightest right to what they have said? If so, let us try to rectify the situation.
- Do we think they were completely unfair? Let us ignore them. Their words do not characterize us. They are characterizing them. We are characterized by our actions. Have you ever seen the face of someone who tried to hurt you with their harsh words, and you ignored them? It is worth noting. They are full of surprise and disappointment!
- We need to know that strength is not in reflexive anger behaviours. The power is in transcendence.
Let us remain to this today. One needs time to think about this suggestion.
Show this option to children. It is a more valuable asset than all the games, even the infinite knowledge we can give them. It is life’s power to choose, than to react mechanically!